Indirectly Killed by Choice
by purple.flip.flop
Summary: J.O.N.A.S AU not agents! Joick! Please don't hate! Just trying out different subjects. I've read some joick stories but i've never read one of when their parents find out so tada! i've written one! R&R!


"I can not believe this!! Where did I go wrong?! What happened to you two!?"

I stood in front of my father holding hands with the love of my life, who just so happened to be my little brother. With every question my father's voice grew louder and I felt the boy beside me flinch more and more.

"How long has this been going on!?" Dad questioned.

I didn't want to answer. I knew it would only cause him to yell louder.

Me, I could handle the yelling. I always got yelled at. I was the wild child who always received the blame whether I deserved it or not, but he wasn't. He was the good child, the perfect angel that was "seduced by the devil" I believe is what my father called it. No matter, he wasn't used to the yelling.

"Answer me Joe, how long has this been going on?" Dad's voice was now low and threatening.

"A year." I answered simply knowing what would come next.

"A year!! What were you thinking!? You're a disgrace to this family!! I can't believe you two would be so stupid!! This is a sin!! You're both going to hell for this, I hope you know that!!" Dad yelled.

That did it. Nick burst into a fit of sobs. Hell had been one of his first concerns when we had discovered our feelings for each other.

"Paul calm down." Mom stepped in.

"Calm down?! Two of my sons have been committing this disgusting, sin behind our backs for a year and you expect me to calm down!?" Dad shouted directing the word 'disgusting' straight at Nick and I which only caused Nick to sob harder.

"Is love disgusting Dad?! Is love a sin?!" I yelled back losing all my self control.

Then Dad did something I wasn't prepared for, he slapped me across the face.

"This," he said pointing between Nick and I, "is not love."

"Paul!!" Mom shouted in horror as she ran over to me inspecting what would surely become a bruise on my face.

"You two go up to your room. I'll come get you when your father has calmed down enough to talk." Mom told us as she kissed each of us on the forehead sending us up to our rooms.

Once in the safety of my room I pulled Nick into my lap as I sat on my bed. He sobbed into my shirt as I rubbed his back trying to calm him down.

"It'll be ok Nick." I whispered to him.

"How c-can y-you say that Joe?" Nick looked up at me with huge tear-filled brown eyes, which caused my heart to break.

"Because we will always have each other, and that's all we need." I told him though I wasn't sure of my words myself.

Nick lowered his head again and rested it on my chest.

"I love you Joe." he said.

"I love you too Nicky." I told him.

We sat in silence after that, listening to our parents yelling down stairs. I remembered back to this morning when Dad had caught us.

_FLASHBACK_

_Mom and Dad were out of town arranging some things for our next tour and were due back this afternoon. Frankie was at a sleepover with some friends and Kevin was out, most likely with his girlfriend. Nick and I had embraced the alone time and were making-out in my room. We were so caught up in each other we didn't hear the front door open and our parents calling from downstairs._

_When Dad opened the door to tell us they'd come home early, he was shocked to see me nibbling at a very giggly Nick's collarbone._

_Needless to say, Dad didn't take that to well and immediately yelled for us to come down stairs._

_END FLASHBACK_

As I remembered this morning's events Kevin walked in the room.

"They found out didn't they?" Kevin asked.

"Yeah, Dad caught us." I told him.

"I told you two you'd get caught eventually. Mom and Dad aren't stupid; they'd have caught on eventually." Kevin stated.

"We don't need anymore lectures, thank you." I snapped feeling Nick tense in my arms as Kevin spoke.

"I'm just sayin'" Kevin told me.

"Well, I'm tired of people telling me wrong from right. I know how to live my life." I stated boldly.

"Was Dad really mad when you came in?" Nick questioned.

"Yeah, but Mom is calming him down. Hopefully he won't do anything too rash." Kevin said.

"Too late for that, he already slapped me." I explained.

"Seriously? I've never seen Dad that angry." Kevin commented.

"Who knew Dad would ever slap his kid, or call his kids a disgrace, or disgusting?" I asked Kevin and Nick started crying again.

"Shh, it's ok Nicky. I didn't mean to make you upset." I consoled him.

"It doesn't feel disgusting." Nick whimpered from my lap.

"Of course it doesn't, cause it's not. Love is a beautiful thing, no matter who you feel it for." I told him rubbing his back.

"What do you think he'll do to us?" Nick questioned obviously scared.

"He might separate you 2." Kevin stated though I wish he hadn't.

"What?! He can do that?! I won't go, I'm not leaving Joe!" Nick shouted as he clung on to me tighter.

"He won't do that because of the band." I comforted him.

"What if he stops the band?" Nick asked horrified, the only thing he loved more than me was the band.

"He wouldn't do that either, Dad would rather die than explain to the public that the Jonas Brothers were breaking up due to the fact that he had to separate two of his sons because they're gay." I stated confidently.

"Then what can he do?" Nick asked.

"I don't know." I sighed.

The rest of the morning the three of us sat in silence while Dad's yells slowly faded and soon after Mom appeared in the door way with sympathetic eyes.

"Come on down you two." She told us.

Nick and I slowly got off the bed scared of what might happen next. We walked down the stairs to see Dad sitting on the recliner in the living room. When he saw us he pointed across the room at the couch. The three of us just sat there in an awkward silence for what felt like hours until Mom and Kevin walked down the stairs and Kevin left. When Dad heard the car start and leave he looked up at Nick and me.

"Alright, now tell me. Are both of you in love?" Dad asked.

"Yes." I told him a little offended he would even ask that.

"What about you Nick?" Dad asked.

"Yes he is." I answered for him.

"I want Nick to tell me." Dad stated.

Nick didn't say anything.

"Nick, tell him." I encouraged.

"I…"

"Nick."

"No." Nick said and my heart broke.

"Well then it's settled. You two don't tell anyone about this. You're just brothers, like it's supposed to be. I can deal with it if you two are gay, just don't date each other." Dad said and got up.

Once Dad left I looked over at Nick. Then I got up with out saying anything and walked up to my room and locked the door. Moments later I heard someone knocking on the door. I just sat on my bed knowing exactly who it was.

"Joe, its Nick." I heard from the other side of the door.

I didn't move to open the door. I didn't even want to think about him right now.

Nick must have sensed this because he tried to open the door but it was locked. I never locked Nick out of anything, especially not my room.

"Joe let me in. Mom and Dad are gone." He said hopefully.

I still didn't say anything or move except to fall back on my bed.

"Joe…" Nick whined as he pounded his fist on the door.

"What?!" I yelled getting very annoyed.

I practically heard him flinch through the door. I never yelled at him, ever, it was like, against everything I stood for.

"Joe, I just want to talk." He whimpered.

"Well I don't!! Go away!!" I yelled probably a little too harshly.

"Joe." he whispered and this time I could hear tears forming in his big brown eyes.

"Why don't you just go find some adorable little blonde girl and talk to her?!" I yelled sitting up.

"Because I want to talk to you." Nick muttered through the door.

"Oh, just go jump in a bush!!" **(A/N: this is my fav saying ever!! I had to put it in somewhere ;P)** I yelled putting as much anger into it as I could and the outcome sounded a lot like Dad.

"Joe, please…" Nick was now begging for entrance into my room but I refused to even consider it. He broke my heart, he deserves to beg.

When I didn't respond he spoke again.

"I lied Joe, and I'm sorry if it hurt you…" he started.

"IF!! You're sorry IF it hurt me?! Nick I can't even describe to you how I feel right now!! If you didn't love me you should have just told me!!" I screeched through the door.

"No, Joe, I didn't lie to you, I lied to Dad. I love you." Nick told me.

"What?" I questioned.

"Yeah, Joe do you seriously think I could ever lie to you?" Nick was now more surprised then sad.

"You lied to Dad?" I asked shocked.

"I had to. There's no telling what Dad would have done if I didn't." Nick pleaded.

"I don't even know you anymore." I said lying back on the bed.

"Joe please, if I had told Dad the truth, we'd never be alone." Nick said.

"Do you even realize how much it hurt when you told Dad no?! I felt like the only way I'd ever feel better was if someone shot me in the head!!" I screamed.

"Well, you feel better now right?" Nick asked hopeful.

"NO!!"

"Joe what else could I do?" Nick pleaded.

"Hmmm, I don't know, tell the truth!!" I shouted.

"I couldn't Joe, Dad would still be yelling at us if I had." He explained.

"What happened to, 'We have each other and that's all we need'?" I retorted.

"We still have each other Joe; I lied so we would always have each other."

"Well I'm not sure that right now I even want you." I stated harshly.

"Joe that's not funny." Nick said unsure if I really meant it.

"I'm not laughing." I retorted.

Then I heard silence until I heard the front door slam and a car drive away. I looked out the window to see that my car was gone.

"That's great; he's off being pissed in my car without a driver's license." I said to myself.

I reached over and grabbed my cell phone and started to search for his number. When I hit the call button I was about to decide that I didn't care what he did when I heard 'Step by Step' by New Kids on the Block, possibly my most favorite song ever, playing from my bed.

I walked over to find Nick's phone sitting on my bed with the word 'Joe' flashing on the light up screen. I picked up the phone, flipped it open, and held it to my ear.

"Hi, who is this?"

"Oh it's just Joe calling to tell you that if you so much as scratch that car you are gonna be dead, but it won't really do much good considering I have your phone."

"Yeah, it wouldn't be very useful."

With that I closed both the phones and walked into the living room. I put both phones on the couch beside me and turned on the T.V.

About two hours later Mom and Dad came in and looked at me surprised.

"Why is your car gone?" Dad asked.

"Nick took it." I stated.

"By himself?" Mom questioned scared.

"Yep." I told them nonchalantly.

"And you just let him go?!" Dad blasted.

"I didn't know he was going anywhere. I was in my room." I told them.

"How do you know it was Nick?" Mom asked.

"We were fighting, I yelled at him and made him mad, and then he took off in my car." I told them.

"And you didn't try to do anything, like call him or something?" Dad asked furiously.

I lifted Nick's phone so they each saw it.

"There wasn't really much I could do."

"Well what were you two fighting about?" Mom asked trying to get all the details.

"I locked him out of my room and he got all drama-queen and started trying to bust down the door and I wouldn't let him in then he took off in my car." I told them, though it could hardly pass as the truth.

Then the phone rang and I picked up the cordless that was laying next to the couch.

"Hello?"

"Joe!! Thank God, I thought you were dead!!" it was Kevin on the other end.

"What do you mean Kev?" I asked.

"I just saw a wreck and a car that looks exactly like yours was flipped into the air and landed upside down, it's completely totaled I don't see how anyone could survive that." Kevin told me relaxing slightly.

"Kevin can you see the license plate?" I asked hurriedly.

"Yeah, it says: JYR8G3" Kevin told me slightly confused.

"That is my car!!" I yelled completely horrified.

"Who was in it?" Kevin asked.

"Nick!!" I yelled into the phone.

By now I was standing and both my parents were giving me strange looks.

"What happened Joe?" Mom asked.

Dad had obviously already caught on and was as shocked as I was.

"Nick…wrecked." I choked out.

The phone dropped from my hand and onto the floor. Everything from then on was a blur. The ride to the hospital, the annoying waiting room, the doctor speech, I was in a daze for it all.

When they finally let us in to see Nick, I couldn't even tell who it was. His head and face were bandaged so I couldn't even tell he had hair, his arms and legs were in casts, and the little part of his face I could see was red and scratched.

I sat on the side of his bed and looked down at him.

"I do still want you Nick." I told him as a tear slid down my cheek and onto the bed.

After I said that I sat all night with him in silence. The doctors said he was brain dead, that it wouldn't matter how long we waited, he wasn't going to wake up. Mom and Dad wanted to pull the plug but I wouldn't let them.

For the next two weeks I sat with him. I felt brain dead sitting with him. I didn't think, or talk. I just focused on him.

Finally Mom and Dad convinced me that he was in pain and confused. That Nick wasn't happy now so we should let him go.

The day Nick died it rained and I cried. I cried for the boy I had indirectly killed by choice.

**Alright, so I was like, hm 'why do people write jonascest stories?' then i thought the only way I'd get my answer is to write one. So i did and I'm not gonna lie, it was kinda fun. who knows, maybe I'll write another one. I know the ending was kinda sad, but I like sad endings. Maybe if everyone likes this one I'll write a happy one.**


End file.
